The Pitfalls Of Chronic Jealousy
While it may seem natural to experience jealousy as a part of a romantic relationship, this emotion can cause many problems and lead to significant difficulties. Learning how to identify and understand your jealousy, as well as the pitfalls it can cause in your relationships, is essential for creating a strong, healthy bond with someone else.
What are the pitfalls of being an overly jealous person or suffering from chronic jealousy? As it turns out, there are quite a few. Being jealous is not really a sign of love or commitment.
It’s a signal that you may have some deeper problems that can cause real stress in your own life and those of others. Here are the most significant problems caused by chronic jealousy.
You Live in an Agitated, Worried State
Jealousy is born from an angry, agitated state of worry. When you are jealous, you are always concerned that your partner will reject you for someone else. You constantly worry that you are not appealing enough to others. Jealousy happens when you react to these feelings to cope with how they make you feel. Your worry causes you to assume you don’t know how your partner really feels about you or that you can somehow force your loved one to focus only on you.
This type of worry and stress is caused by a negative mindset and perpetuates a focus on the negative aspects of your life. You take things personally that are not even about you, and you obsess over the behavior of others to understand what it means about yourself. This chronic state of stress and worry is unhealthy for you, mentally, physically, and emotionally.
Jealousy Can Make Others (And You) Feel Inadequate
When you don’t feel like you are good enough for your partner, you fear losing them. When you allow jealousy to determine your actions toward others, you can leave them feeling as though they aren’t good enough for you; that no matter what they do, you’ll never believe how they care for you. This expectation on others can make them feel inadequate, and because you are always concerned about how others feel about you, you too will feel like you just aren’t enough.
Severe and Chronic Jealousy is a Sign of Your Own Low Self-Esteem
Being chronically jealous is usually a sign of your own issues with insecurity and anxiety. When you have low self-esteem, you feel unworthy of love from others and therefore will doubt others’ feelings for you.
You may question the legitimacy of others’ affections because you don’t love yourself or feel as though you do not deserve to be loved by someone else. If you struggle with feelings of jealousy in more than one relationship, if you have no basis for your suspicions, or if you have been jealous of multiple partners over your life, it is time to look inward to determine where these feelings are originating.
Your Partner Can Begin to Resent You
When someone you care for doubts your feelings and intentions, no matter what you say or do to assure them of your true emotions, it can lead to resentment and anger over time. Chronic jealousy can drive a wedge between partners as one person feels as though they can’t do anything right to satisfy the others’ fears. Jealousy is cited as a problem in one out of three couples seeking counseling, as it creates issues with how your partner feels about you as well as themselves.
Learning From Your Jealousy
Feeling jealous and acting on those feelings are two different things. Learning first to identify and understand your feelings of jealousy can help when you are trying to change jealous behaviors. Looking at where your jealousy comes from can also be helpful in improving how you let those feelings affect your behavior toward yourself and others.
No matter what, it is critical that you deal with these emotions and how they influence you, as chronic jealousy is a significant problem that can impact how you feel about yourself and others, as well as how others feel about you.